


Planet Earth is blue

by PsychedelicShips



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alien Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Alien Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Alien Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Alien Deceit | Janus Sanders, Alien Morality | Patton Sanders, Alternate Universe - Aliens, Alternate Universe - Space, Implied Suicide Attempt, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Loceit - Freeform, M/M, Slow Burn, Space Pirates, Trans Logic | Logan Sanders, Transphobia mention, at least. not yet, but dont worry, the tags make it look angsty but i promise its not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:29:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28116972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychedelicShips/pseuds/PsychedelicShips
Summary: Logan, in a sudden urge of spontaneity, joins a crew of aliens.
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 14
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

Logan looked down at the black water below him. It would be so easy. Just put his feet on the other side of the railing. Then push off. Just a moment of falling before he hit the water. It would be a far enough drop that he would likely die on impact. Then he might finally be able to relax in his last moments of free fall. He had no one- no family who cared about him, no friends to speak of. Not since he’d been outed, anyways. 

There was nothing for him, so why couldn’t he do it? Just step over the railing, that was all he had to do to end it. Maybe it was the weight of his backpack holding him on the safer side of the bridge, on the empty stretch of road, filled with everything he owned- his phone, a change of clothes, his favorite book, and a wad of cash, decorated with a single pride pin.

Logan kept staring into the water. What he was looking for, he didn’t know. Maybe a sign? But if it was a sign he was looking for, he found it. 

A flashing light reflected off the water below, and Logan looked up, startled. There was…  _ something  _ moving across the sky. Logan was no pilot or professional astronomer, but he knew that whatever it was, it wasn’t a plane or star. It looked like a bright disk, and it was getting closer. Logan stepped away from the railing- he didn’t want to have to explain himself if someone saw. 

Suddenly the light came to a stop above him, and it began to descend, growing brighter. Logan shielded his eyes as the thing came down on the bridge. What was that thing? 

He took a step back as the glowing faded, and Logan could make out what looked like to be some kind of- a spacecraft? 

If Logan had been in his right mind (which he definitely was not, considering what he had been through in the past twenty four hours), he might have fished his phone out of his pocket and called someone, maybe the emergency services number, or at least started recording what was happening. But Logan was absolutely not in his right mind, so instead he just watched open-mouthed as the side of the ship began to open and a humanoid figure stepped out. 

Well, Logan said humanoid, because he had no idea who- or what- he was actually looking at. There were four limbs and a head, he knew, but past that? 

There were eight tentacle-like appendages sprouting for its- their? Back, each moving independently. Another figure stepped out of the craft with the same limb arrangement as the first figure- four limbs, a head, and tentacles. 

They looked at each other and spoke in a language Logan had never heard before, and then looked around the bridge. 

Logan shrunk back as the two creatures looked directly at him, and though it could have been his imagination, Logan swore the two of them let out a scream, though Logan heard mangled grunts. 

Their shouts must have alerted whatever else was in that ship, as two more figures spilled out onto the roadway in front of Logan. 

This time, it was Logan who screamed. 

The tallest figure ran towards Logan, all six of its arms outstretched. 

Wait- six? Logan didn’t have time to marvel at the biological diversity that had landed on earth before the shortest thing to come out of the ship said something in a croaking language, reminiscent of a frog, and the six-armed man-person-alien-thing skidded to a halt right in front of Logan and responded with a series of hisses, looking back and forth between Logan and the not-quite-humans still standing by the ship. 

The shortest one began to move towards Logan, and it seemed like they not only had a language like a frog- they looked like one, too, albeit one that stood on two legs, wore clothing, and had glasses. The frog-person reached a webbed hand to grab Six-Arms and pull him back.

But Logan was quicker, and grabbed Frog-Person (an easy task, despite Logan having never been athletic at all, considering Frog-Person weighed about as much as a regular earth frog. 

Logan, still being in his not-right mind, did something that Right Minded Logan would have never even considered: he did something impulsive. 

“Take me with you,” Logan said, his grip still around Frog-Person. He had no idea if Six-Arms or any of the Tentacle-Men could understand him, but Logan believed his point had gotten across the language barrier, as Frog-Person looked at Six-Arms who looked at Tentacles One and Two, who looked at each other and shrugged. 

Six-Arms reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a metal device that looked similar to a hearing aid, and handed it to Logan. 

He looked hesitantly at the device before putting Frog-Person down and sticking the thing in his ear. If he died, he died. 

As the thing settled into his ear, it felt for a split second as if Logan had a bucket of water dumped over his head before the sensation faded, and he found he could now understand Six-Arms.

“That was incredibly rude, you know,” Six-Arms said, frowning (did non-human things frown?). “Despite what I tell him, I actually enjoy having Patton around.”

“You speak English?” Logan asked, suddenly not nearly as afraid as he had been. 

“Yes, I took English immersion class in an earth school,” Six-Arms rolled his eyes, which Logan now noticed were two different colors with slit pupils. “No, this is a translator. It knows what language you speak, and then it translates mine into yours, so you can understand me.”

“Oh. What is your language, then?” 

“Your language, English you called it? Doesn’t have a word for it. So to you, it would sound like hissing.”

Logan nodded. “My name is Logan, and I want to come with you.”

“Right to the point? I’ll have to converse with my, ah, crew. Crew?” Six-Arms turned to look at the other aliens (that was what they were, right?) who, after a moment of looking at each other, shrugged and nodded. 

“Alright!” Six-Arms clapped. “Welcome aboard the Silver Serpent!” Six-Arms put two of his arms on Logan’s back and led him to the ramp from the road to the ship’s doorway. “Everyone, this is Logan. Introduce yourselves.”

The ones with tentacles- which now in the light, Logan could see they were green and red, and the red ones were more like elephant trunks- both waved (Logan noticed they had seven fingers on each hand). 

“Roman,” the red one said.

“That’s my brother. I’m Remus,” the green one smiled. 

“Hello! I’m Patton,” Frog-Person held out a webbed hand for Logan to shake. 

“Greetings, Patton. I, ah, apologize about earlier,” Logan said with a sheepish blush. 

“Oh, no worries! It was quite a sudden meeting!” Patton’s laugh sounded like the frog that had constantly croaked outside Logan’s window crossed with a warbling of a bird. An odd sound, but somehow pleasant. 

“And I am Janus, captain of the  _ Silver Serpent.” _

So Six-Arms had a name! Three of Janus’s hands helped Logan up the ramp, and it was only then that Logan realized that in addition to six arms, Janus had a long scaly tail the same color as the scales spread across his face. “I’ve never had a human on my crew, so I hope everything is sufficient for you. Though if you need more oxygen on the ship, just tell Virgil, he’ll fix it.”

“Virgil? Who’s that?” Logan asked, though as soon as he set foot on the ship he got his answer. At first glance, it seemed like a tall human sat in a chair at the front, though it became clear that instead of two human legs, there instead sprouted eight spider-like limbs from Virgil’s torso. 

“This is Virgil,” Janus said. “Virgil, have you met our newest crew member Logan?”

“Hi, Logan,” Virgil said, blinking all eight of his pitch black eyes.

“Hello,” Logan waved nervously. Virgil just gave a fanged grin in response and turned back around to whatever he was doing at the front of the ship. 

Logan looked around the ship in awe. The inside was much bigger than it looked, and Logan briefly wondered if Doctor Who technology had actually happened on different planets. The front of the ship where Virgil sat had eight large chairs facing the same direction out the window, and looking to his left, Logan could see what looked like living quarters. 

Janus led him down that way while Roman, Remus, and Patton went to sit with Virgil. 

“Do humans sleep? Is that a thing? If so, I hope what we have here is sufficient for you,” Janus opened a door with one of his hany hands and with another hand gestured around. It wasn’t large, but it definitely beat what Logan had in his too small apartment that likely did not come close to meeting OSHA standards. 

“Yes, humans sleep,” Logan found himself thinking about how other species got rest- or did they even need it? 

In the corner of the room there was furniture reminiscent of a bed and nightstand, though the ‘mattress’ was definitely not made of cotton, and the nightstand was yet another foregin material. The floor didn’t look or feel carpeted, but it was even softer than any rug Logan could buy.

“This is- this is perfect. Thank you, Janus.” Logan walked over to the bed and set his bag on the floor. 

Janus nodded, “I will let you rest and adjust. I believe there are very few humans in space. In fact, you might be one of the only ones. So get some sleep, and when you’re ready, the cafeteria is down the hall.”

Logan nodded and sat on the bed, almost sinking down into it. Whatever it was made of, it was the softest thing Logan had ever slept on. He fell almost immediately into a dreamless sleep, staying awake only long enough to place his glasses on the nightstand. 

When he woke, he found that he had gotten the most rest he had in awhile. Putting his glasses on and tiptoeing over to the door, Logan pressed an ear to the cold metal, listening for the others on the ship. They had seemed nice, but now that Logan was in space- actually in space!!- he wanted to stay alive to see as much as he could. Satisfied that there was no shouting or whatever other unpleasant noises aliens made, he opened the door and followed directions to where Janus had said the cafeteria would be. 

Sure enough, all five other crew mates sat at an oddly shaped table, eating… something.

It looked like a cross between oatmeal and toast, neither of which Logan found particularly appetizing (unless the toast had jelly on it, of course), yet the smell was somewhat nice. 

The aliens (should Logan keep referring to them as that? He was, after all, in space, so it was really him that was the alien, wasn’t it?) looked up from their meal and greeted him. 

“Logan! Hi!” Patton waved. 

“Logan. How did you sleep?” Janus stood.

“Very well, thank you,” Logan replied, now realizing that his hair must look like a mess and hastily trying to tame his bed head. 

“Here,” Janus handed Logan a bowl of the foodstuff with a spoon with his middle left arm, which Logan accepted hesitantly. “I know it doesn’t look great, but trust me. You’ll be fine. I don’t know what it will taste like to you, but I do know that it’s very nutritious.”

Logan furrowed his eyebrows as he sat down. “Alright,” Logan picked up the spoon and took a bite. 

Eyes widening, he realized that it tasted exactly like strawberry Crofter’s.

“Woah,” Logan looked at Janus. “What  _ is  _ this?”

Janus chuckled. “Would you like the simple version or the scientific one?”

“Scientific, please.” 

“Well, it’s a dehydrated compound of vegetation native to a planet in the Andromeda galaxy, specifically engineered to taste like whatever you find most pleasant, as well as being high in nutrients, which makes it ideal for long journeys.”

Logan nodded, taking another bite. “So...where is it, exactly, that we’re going?”

“Well!” Janus clapped all six of his hands together. “That’s what we were discussing. So, ah, Logan, I probably should have briefed you on this before we left your planet, but you see, we aren’t exactly the most, shall we say, legal group of travelers.”

“So- so you’re _ space criminals?” _

“More or less,” Janus gestured. 

Logan thought for a minute. “Alright then.”

“Is that it? “Alright then?””

“Well, I will finally be fulfilling the popular slang saying of ‘be gay, do crime,’ so yes. Alright then. Although, I am curious. What are the laws in space? How do you break them? What are the punishments? What kind of crimes do you all commit? Tax fraud? Embezzlement?  _ Murder _ ? Or- does tax fraud even exist outside of earth? Are there even taxes in space?”

“Well, you seem very excited about the prospect of crime, which is a little surprising, but-”

Janus was cut off by Remus jumping up on the table and pointing to Logan. “I like this one!”

Patton, Roman, and Virgil nodded in agreement. 

“Well, Logan,” Patton grinned. “You know why we only steal donuts?”

“What?”

“Because the case is full of holes.”

“Oh my gosh,” Logan groaned. “I am genuinely asking what kind of crimes I’m getting into. Janus, what kind of crime?”

“Smuggling, mostly,” Janus put a hand up to stop another pun from Patton. “There are a bunch of laws about what you can have and how you can get it, so we tend to… shall we say, help people bypass paperwork.”

Logan nodded. “As long as there’s nothing on here that will kill me, I am absolutely for it. Governments are shit, quite honestly.”

The members of the  _ Silver Serpent _ nodded in agreement as they finished their food. 

“I’ll give you the grand tour,” Janus stood up and offered a hand to Logan. 

Janus showed him the engine room, the navigation center, the sleeping quarters, and the medical bay, though any hidden doorways or false floors were carefully avoided. “A need to know basis,” Janus explained. 

It took a few days of being on the ship for Logan to really understand where he was. Space! With aliens!

One of his big fantasies as a child was going to the moon, but now? Now, he had not only seen the moon’s craters out the window, but he was also  _ outside of his galaxy.  _ He was away from earth, away from his parents, away from all the problems he had on earth of unemployment and poverty and homophobia and transphobia. 

But here on the ship? The only problems he had were the loud clacking of Virgil’s spider-y legs on the hard metal floor or the slime secreted off Remus’s tentacle appendages. These minor inconveniences were a huge step up from earth. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> goes from found family to ACAB in .5 seconds, as all gays do

Logan had been a member of the  _ Silver Serpent _ for a good three years now, three years being counted in earth time with the calendar app on Logan’s phone (which somehow still worked, despite there not being any internet service in space. Logan had yet to figure out why he could still watch YouTube or access anything with WiFi, really). 

During his three years, Logan learned quite a lot. In addition to learning a few words in Janus’s language (‘hello,’ ‘help,’ and ‘My name is Logan,’ the only phrases Janus said would really be useful), Logan also learned how to commit crimes in space. It sounded much more exciting than it actually was, of course, since most of the crime Janus and the crew committed was the smuggling of slightly illegal goods. The most valuable thing Logan had learned, however, was how to hack alien technology.

He had always been good with computers, but now with access to technology more advanced than anyone on earth could dream of? He was almost unstoppable. He single handedly erased all warrants for Virgil’s arrest in three different galaxies, as well as cleaning up Janus’s record. 

There had been several close calls over the years, though Janus handled most of them nonviolently. There had only been one occasion where a space cop had gone mysteriously missing out of the airlock. Being aboard a ship with crewmates that had a various amount of arrest warrants on different planets wasn’t perfect, but it sure beat earth. Logan would take aliens over transphobia any day of the week. 

The  _ Silver Serpent’s _ current load was a cargo hold full of Volatum, something Logan didn’t want anything to do with, as it was almost like a narcotic for the Umutu, the species native to Trappist-E and H, as well as a few weapons, all hidden under what they were legally delivering, a plant native to Kepler-62 called ibiryo.

The journey between planets was low-stress, as the only thing they really had to worry about was raiders- Logan had never met them, and hoped that he wouldn’t. But the entry to Trappist-E where they were to drop off the Volatum? The entire process was extremely stressful. First, permission to dock was needed- Janus took care of that part, as captain. Once permission was given, glorified border patrol guards would inspect the ship for illegal substances. This was the part that always made Logan nervous. What would happen if the Volatum and weapons were found? 

Logan stood in the hallway with the rest of the crew, as per instructed, and watched the guards look around. Virgil glared at them as one opened the door to his room. It was only Patton putting a webbed hand on Virgil’s back that stopped him from hissing. Roman and Remus looked at each other, giggling at something only they heard. 

Janus put a hand on Logan's shoulder and gave a small squeeze. During his time on the ship, Logan found that while Janus wasn’t one to hold long conversations, he instead communicated via physical touch. 

“It’ll be fine,” Janus whispered so only Logan could hear. “I’m confident in my abilities.” 

Logan gave a subtle nod. 

It took an achingly long time, but the three guards that had boarded eventually come back out. 

“You’re free to land,  _ Silver Serpent _ ,” one of them waved as they stepped out of the ship. 

“Thank you,” Janus nodded, gesturing for the crew to follow him to navigation where they strapped into their seats in preparation for reentering an atmosphere. Going back into the pull of gravity was… an experience, to say the least. It reminded Logan of when he had been on a plane that had to land in the rain- bumpy, jarring, and overall making his insides feel like they had been turned upside down and then crushed with a weight. The first time Logan had reentered, he had been sick to his stomach. But now, after hundreds of trips to different planets, reentry was much more bearable, though still not at all pleasant. 

Logan closed his eyes and focused on his breathing, something he found helped. He only opened his eyes once Janus announced, “Gentlemen, we have landed!”

Patton was the first to unbuckle, and he immediately lay down on the floor with his arms and legs spread out. 

“I really don’t like that,” Patton mumbled. 

“Neither do I,” Logan stretched his arms above his head. 

“Alas, it is necessary. Now, we don’t have time to lounge around quite yet. We have to deliver,” Janus helped Patton up. “The ibiryo buyers will be here soon.”

“When will the second customer be dropping by?” Virgil asked. 

Janus just shrugged by moving his top set of arms. “Soon. But let’s get to work unloading.”

He ushered them to the cargo hold, where it was Logan and Patton’s job to hand boxes of ibiryo to Janus, Remus, Roman, and Virgil, who brought the boxes out to the dock to be picked up by the buyers. 

When the ibiryo was finally unloaded, Logan sat with the rest of the crew outside, his muscles aching. Roman and Remus’s words were muffled by their breathing apparatuses, which they had to use to breath in the oxygen-rich atmosphere of Trappist-E, as they needed nitrogen, not oxygen. 

The sunset of Trappist-E was close to that of earth’s sunsets, albeit dimmer, as the sun that the planet orbited didn’t give off nearly as much energy as earth’s sun. The air was thinner, making it a little difficult for Logan to breathe, especially when he was still wearing his binder, but it wasn;t nearly as bad as it had been on Trappist-H, where Logan hard to borrow one of the breathing devices and stop binding. 

Janus suddenly stood up next to him and raised one of his arms in greeting to a figure walking towards the now-empty docking area and began to walk towards them. 

“Is that them?” Logan whispered to Virgil, who sat next to him. 

“Yup,” Virgil replied. “I don’t know who they are, but I’m pretty sure they’re some kind of gang leader. You could probably find out with your fancy computer skills, Teach.”

“Probably,” Logan agreed. “Though it would likely take a lot of sorting through criminal records on this planet.”

Janus and the newcomer walked back to the ship. “Roman, Remus, go get the gifts for my friend here.”

The twins nodded and stood up, hurrying into the ship to bring out the Volatum. The newcomer left their hood up when they spoke to Janus, but Logan could tell they were Umutu- the coarse black fur around their hands gave it away. “I take it that my gift is in good condition?” they asked.

“Of course. Nothing but the best from my crew,” Janus replied. 

“Very nice. Still the price we agreed on?”

“Correct. Who would I be if I changed the price upon delivery? A government agent?”

Janus and the Umutu buyer laughed. “Ah, here it is,” Janus took the boxes from Roman and Remus. 

“Thirty pounds of Volatum. Twelve guns, twelve cases of ammunition,” the buyer inspected. “It seems to be in order. Let me transfer the payment and I’ll be on my way.”

Janus nodded and waved Logan over to wire the transfer. Logan held out a tablet and typed out a code that would allow the funds to be untraceably deposited into an account Logan had set up for himself- most of the funds were used by Janus without Logan’s complaint, as he didn’t really have a need for the money, though he did purchase a small souvenir for himself after every planet he visited. 

Each trinket was put carefully in the drawer of his nightstand, though to anyone else it would look like a drawer full of clutter- a ball of yarn made from a cotton like plant from Roman and Remus’s native planet, Wolf-1061-C. A branch from a tree-like organism from Gliese-667-Cc. It was also comforting to know that the type of shirts that proclaimed “I went to New York and all I got was this t-shirt” we’re not confined to earth’s tourism culture- he had several of those, each from a different planet. 

The Umutu took the tablet, typed in a code, and handed it back to Logan with a nod.

“Crew of the  _ Silver Serpent _ , I salute you,” they said.

“Pissing off authority is what we strive to do,” Janus grinned. 

“A noble cause. Now, I will be on my way.” 

The buyer left the docks, leaving the crew alone.

“Well,” Logan announced. “I’m going to go to my room and sleep. If you see something interesting in the market, buy it for me?” 

“Of course!” Roman replied.

“Definitely,” Janus nodded. “Well be taking off in a few hours, so now would be your chance to go shopping if you want to.”

“Thank you, but I’m exhausted,” Logan walked back into the ship, where he tugged off his binder and pulled on a sleeping shirt before crawling under his exceptionally warm and light blankets on his small bed and falling asleep almost immediately. 

He woke to shouting. 

Stumbling out of his bedroom, he put his glasses in just in time to see Virgil running past him from the engine room to the front navigation, screaming some untranslatable words at the top of his lungs (untranslatable because there was no English equivalent, not because the translator device refused to translate unpleasant words. He had heard plenty of those streaming from Virgil’s mouth when there was an engine malfunction).

Logan took a moment to realize what was happening before chasing after Virgil. 

“Who’s chasing us this time!?” Logan shouted over the clanking of the engines and the scuttle of Virgil’s spidery legs against the cold metal floor. 

“The cops!” Virgil shouted over his shoulder. 

“Those motherfuckers!” Logan cracked his knuckles as he ran after Virgil. 

Logan slid into a seat and began typing at a tablet. “What’s their ship name? I’m going to slow them down! Wait- are you kidding me? They’re using an unsecured network… hold on. Patton, look out the window and tell me what’s happening.”

“They’re still shooting at us! Wait! They’ve stopped! And now- now they’re… flying in circles?” Patton hopped out of his seat to the thick glass panes that served as windows to report what was going on as Logan typed commands into the tablet. 

“Perfect! This won't be able to last forever, so get out of here!” Logan told Janus and Virgil.

“Virgil, can we warp?” Janus shouted over the engine. 

“Once! Now go go go! Now do it now!” Virgil shouted back.

With a flip of a switch, the crew of the  _ Silver Serpent _ successfully evaded the law once again, and with shouts of “ACAB, BITCHES!”, they arrived in the Fireworks Galaxy.

Had Logan been on the spaceship equivalent of a cap car, he would have heard the confused shouts of the sace-cops as they tried to figure out what had caused the sudden malfunctions in the steering mechanisms and the reason only the left engine was working. But Logan was not on the space-cop car- he was with the crew of Janus’s ship, with the different species he had learned to call his friends, his  _ family _ , shouting obscenities at the space-cops, as all upstanding citizens did. 

“Well,” Remus announced. “Fuck the police! Jan, where are we going next?”

Janus shrugged. “Wherever we want, Remus. Wherever we want. Logan, you pick.”

Logan froze for a moment, not used to the spotlight being on him. He looked out the window at the galaxy, at the nebulae and planets and countless stars, at the infinity that was the universe. He had seen things like this before, of course, but he could never get over the sheer vastness of space. 

“Let’s go to that one,” he pointed at a random planet. 

“That one it is,” Janus gave Logan a six-armed hug from behind. 

In addition to learning how to hack spaceships, Logan also learned that Patton’s and Janus’s hugs were quite possibly the best in the entire universe. Janus’s multiple arms made hugging all that better, and Logan leaned into the taller humanoid (Logan still wasn’t quite sure what descriptor, exactly, that he was supposed to use. Janus wasn’t a figure, as those were shapes in fog or darkness. He wasn’t a man, which was made obvious by the four extra arms and shimmering golden scales. Janus wasn’t just a friend, either. Logan considered them all family, but he did occasionally wish there could be something… more with Janus. So Janus was simply the taller humanoid, as not even Logan had the proper vocabulary to describe him).

Logan watched the galaxy pass by, still in Janus’s protective hug, as the  _ Silver Serpent _ flew to the planet and had pointed to.

Life was good. Life was happy, even! 

Those were words Logan had never thought he would have been able to truthfully say, not when he was back on earth. But now? Now, in space- which had seemed like a far off dream- Logan could truly say he was happy.


End file.
